A Practical Application

This summer I went to Norway, that has been established. I prayed at the beginning of the summer that God would use this experience to teach me that I am His child and that He is my Father. I also prayed that I would grow in my confidence as a woman of God. I prayed that He would be working in my heart this summer and using it for His glory.

When our summer was winding down, one of our team leaders shared a story of how monkeys are caught and sold in market. Basically, they take a coconut and put a hole in it. They then drop a rock into said hole. This holy coconut is then left somewhere for an unsuspecting primate to come across. When the monkey finds the coconut, they are intrigued by the sound the rock makes. They then reach into the hole to grab the rock, but when they make the fist with the rock inside, they cannot remove their hand. They are then found and captured by people who will then sell them as pets or such. When the story had been said, we were challenged to consider what the rock was that we were holding on to. What was preventing us from letting go of the rock and just really running after God? We were asked to consider this and to also consider leaving our rocks in the fjord.

At this point, I hadn't had any really life-shattering realizations while in Norway. The summer had been good and challenging, but I didn't feel like I had gotten out of the trip what God wanted me to get yet. The leaders on my trip continued to ask us what our rock may be and I thought about it, but then one day during a quiet time, I prayed that God would reveal my rock to me and show me what was keeping me from Him. I then did a quiet time in 1 John 4:7-21, which is all about God's love. Here is the basic gist of 1 John:

Abide, Obey, Love, Abide

• Abide in God - the way to abide in God is to Obey God - God calls us to love others, so to Obey, we must Love others - When we Love others and are being obedient to God, he Abides in us as we Abide in Him

God sent his Son because of His love for us

During this quiet time God opened my eyes to see that my rock was a fear of never being chosen, never being "good enough", never being someone's first choice. I was afraid of always being an alternate, a second choice, barely adequate. I knew that this had been something that I struggled with, but I didn't know depths of my belief in this lie. It was a lie I believed to my very core. However, 1 John and our time in the Psalms and gospels were showing me that I had already been chosen.

One of the many questions that we had been talking about through the summer was God's power, knowledge, and presence. If I believe in this fundamental truth of God, then God knew about me when he created the world. God was aware of what He was creating. He KNEW He was creating a world with Sin. He knew He was creating a world with Me. He knew He was creating a world with MY sin. He knew that He was creating a world in which I would inherit Adam's sin, but also that He was making a world where He would have to send His only Son to die so that my sin-debt would be paid. If I believe that God is all-powerful, then He could have changed all these things in His creation. He could have made a world where me and my sin were not a factor, but He didn't. He made THIS world, He made Me.

The lie I believed and my rock became shattered. There is no need for me to fear not being chosen, because I have already BEEN chosen. I have been chosen by a powerful and might God who loves me and gave himself for me. And he did for you too! We have all been chosen by a might God who loves all of us.

I found a rock, wrote the lie I had believed on it, and threw it in the fjord. It was glorious. It was a pretty large rock, so it made quite the resounding ker-plunck.

God used this truth in my life to address my prayers. My came out of the summer really starting to grasp what it meant to be His child and a woman of Faith. I'm not saying I have either of these things down, but God used the reality of his choosing me to show me his love for me and address lies that I had been believing to my core. But how was I to apply this epiphany? How would I remember to hold on to this truth that God had assured me of? I tried to think of things, but nothing really had the practical, measurable result that I wanted. Then one evening in Bergen, after our team meeting/processing time, I had an epiphany: a tattoo was the answer to my problems. I wanted to remember forever, the lesson that God had taught me. I am his child, chosen from the beginning of time. After some wonderful encouragement from beautiful teammates, and some prayer, I decided that it was OK to get a tattoo as an application and that it was what I wanted to do.

As I sit here, I have the word "chosen" on the inside of my left arm. It is written in my own hand and on my left so that every time I read my bible or write in my journal, I have that reminder that I have been chosen by God.

This is my application. It is to remind me that I have been chosen by God and don't need to worry about not being chosen. God has taken care of that already. I can't wait to use this as an opportunity to share my story with someone who asks about my tattoo and why I have that word, in that place, in that print. I have been chosen and that truth is now forever a part of me. It has been inscribed on me and has become a part of who I am. I am His.