One of my prayers for the summer was that God would open my eyes to what it means to be his child. I have been raised in the church, hearing that I was God's child, but I guess I didn't fully understand what that meant in regards to my faith. The only time I had spent with children was when I was a child myself. As glorious as those times are, you don't normally find yourself contemplating how you can apply childlikeness to your faith as you are making mud pies with the neighborhood kids.
This summer, I was surrounded by children. My team leaders had three (8, 4, and 2) and then there was a British couple that stayed in the basement apartment that had three as well (4, 2, and 8 months). I learned that I was good with kids and that I enjoyed being around them. Their wonderment and willingness to ask questions that confused them astounded me and made me think about what it meant to be a child.
Children often don't have the understandings of the world quite figured out. Things are new to them almost all the time and they are constantly working to figure out how things work. They are also willing to ask questions. The instance that most sticks out to me is when Benjamin asked me a question. I was carrying Benjamin to the couch because the floors were wet and he looks at me and said, "Victoria, are you a man?" I was a bit taken aback because I had never received this particular question before. I asked Ben why he thought I was maybe a man and he very confidently said, "Well, your so big and strong." I then preceded to explain to Ben that I was a girl and that girls can be big and strong too sometimes.
Even though I was surprised by his question, it caused me to think. This was one of those child-like moments that we are to emulate in our relationship with Christ. We are to ask Him the questions that confuse us and seek His counsel. We don't need to be afraid of making it seem as though we know nothing, God already knows that we are completely clueless. As Christians, we often shy away from the tougher questions of our faith. We say, "Well, that is just something that we will have to take on faith." But we are called to seek His Word and seek the answers to those questions. We, as children, are still trying to understand what it is that God has in store for us and who He is and who we are in light of Him. We need to not be afraid of asking the tougher questions of our faith, admitting to ourselves our ignorance in this area, and seeking God's answers to these questions through His Word.
Children are completely reliant upon their parents. Putting on shoes, getting dressed, eating, going to the bathroom, all of these things only happen if parents are there, ready and waiting to assist. A child isn't born with the innate sense of how to tie their shoes, they must learn, and their parents often have to teach them. We don't know everything about God, we must have patience with ourselves and rely on God to teach us. God will use others in our lives and also His Word. We also must rely on His provision and love for us. I know that I have consistently struggled with relying on God and had to face the truth that my abilities and strength are not adequate. Children know this already. They know that there are things that they can't do, and they rely on their parents/caretakers to help them do it.
A child's love is pure, joyful, and infectious. I remember one morning coming downstairs, not super excited that it was 8:00 am and kinda grumpy. Then, my team leaders' little daughter saw me, shouted my name "Towwie", and ran up to me with a smile on her face to tell me about her breakfast. Her joy at seeing me immediately brightened my morning and gave me some of the joy that she had. I then realized how God must feel when we come to Him with joy and love. When we share our joys with God, it makes Him happy because it lets Him into our lives as our Father. I am so often guilty of only coming to God when I am struggling with something, but God just wants to be a part of my every day life.
The love that I have for my God should be evident to others, like a child's love for their parents. There was no doubt in anyone's mind as to who the top two people were in the minds of the kids in the house. It was always their parents. The knew they were loved by their parents and that they loved their parents. They were sad when their parents would leave and ecstatic when they returned. My love for God should be just as evident and unbridled. People should be able to see my love for God through the way I live my life and seek Him. I need to find security in His love for me and reciprocate that love as well.
So many lessons can be learned from children, and Jesus knew that too (Matthew 19). Children are a reflection of who we are in God's view. We are His children and He loves us more than our earthly parents, because He is perfect. If we can rest in the love of our earthly parents, what keeps us from resting in the love of our Heavenly Father? We need to view ourselves as children in regards to God and we need to know that we are God's children.
Growing up in the church, I have consistently heard the term "faith like a child". I understand that this is a good idea, but I don't think it is so much that we need to have faith like children as it is we need to recognize that we are God's children. We don't have the answers, we need to ask our heavenly Father. We are incapable of taking care of ourselves, we need to rely on Him to provide for us. We need to love Him with joy and trust Him. We need to have the faith that He is good and that He wants to provide the good for us. We need to see Him as our heavenly Daddy and know that we are his beloved, cherished, precious, chosen children.
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
Monday, August 5, 2013
A Practical Application
This summer I went to Norway, that has been established. I prayed at the beginning of the summer that God would use this experience to teach me that I am His child and that He is my Father. I also prayed that I would grow in my confidence as a woman of God. I prayed that He would be working in my heart this summer and using it for His glory.
When our summer was winding down, one of our team leaders shared a story of how monkeys are caught and sold in market. Basically, they take a coconut and put a hole in it. They then drop a rock into said hole. This holy coconut is then left somewhere for an unsuspecting primate to come across. When the monkey finds the coconut, they are intrigued by the sound the rock makes. They then reach into the hole to grab the rock, but when they make the fist with the rock inside, they cannot remove their hand. They are then found and captured by people who will then sell them as pets or such. When the story had been said, we were challenged to consider what the rock was that we were holding on to. What was preventing us from letting go of the rock and just really running after God? We were asked to consider this and to also consider leaving our rocks in the fjord.
At this point, I hadn't had any really life-shattering realizations while in Norway. The summer had been good and challenging, but I didn't feel like I had gotten out of the trip what God wanted me to get yet. The leaders on my trip continued to ask us what our rock may be and I thought about it, but then one day during a quiet time, I prayed that God would reveal my rock to me and show me what was keeping me from Him. I then did a quiet time in 1 John 4:7-21, which is all about God's love. Here is the basic gist of 1 John:
One of the many questions that we had been talking about through the summer was God's power, knowledge, and presence. If I believe in this fundamental truth of God, then God knew about me when he created the world. God was aware of what He was creating. He KNEW He was creating a world with Sin. He knew He was creating a world with Me. He knew He was creating a world with MY sin. He knew that He was creating a world in which I would inherit Adam's sin, but also that He was making a world where He would have to send His only Son to die so that my sin-debt would be paid. If I believe that God is all-powerful, then He could have changed all these things in His creation. He could have made a world where me and my sin were not a factor, but He didn't. He made THIS world, He made Me.
The lie I believed and my rock became shattered. There is no need for me to fear not being chosen, because I have already BEEN chosen. I have been chosen by a powerful and might God who loves me and gave himself for me. And he did for you too! We have all been chosen by a might God who loves all of us.
I found a rock, wrote the lie I had believed on it, and threw it in the fjord. It was glorious. It was a pretty large rock, so it made quite the resounding ker-plunck.
God used this truth in my life to address my prayers. My came out of the summer really starting to grasp what it meant to be His child and a woman of Faith. I'm not saying I have either of these things down, but God used the reality of his choosing me to show me his love for me and address lies that I had been believing to my core. But how was I to apply this epiphany? How would I remember to hold on to this truth that God had assured me of? I tried to think of things, but nothing really had the practical, measurable result that I wanted. Then one evening in Bergen, after our team meeting/processing time, I had an epiphany: a tattoo was the answer to my problems. I wanted to remember forever, the lesson that God had taught me. I am his child, chosen from the beginning of time. After some wonderful encouragement from beautiful teammates, and some prayer, I decided that it was OK to get a tattoo as an application and that it was what I wanted to do.
As I sit here, I have the word "chosen" on the inside of my left arm. It is written in my own hand and on my left so that every time I read my bible or write in my journal, I have that reminder that I have been chosen by God.
This is my application. It is to remind me that I have been chosen by God and don't need to worry about not being chosen. God has taken care of that already. I can't wait to use this as an opportunity to share my story with someone who asks about my tattoo and why I have that word, in that place, in that print. I have been chosen and that truth is now forever a part of me. It has been inscribed on me and has become a part of who I am. I am His.
When our summer was winding down, one of our team leaders shared a story of how monkeys are caught and sold in market. Basically, they take a coconut and put a hole in it. They then drop a rock into said hole. This holy coconut is then left somewhere for an unsuspecting primate to come across. When the monkey finds the coconut, they are intrigued by the sound the rock makes. They then reach into the hole to grab the rock, but when they make the fist with the rock inside, they cannot remove their hand. They are then found and captured by people who will then sell them as pets or such. When the story had been said, we were challenged to consider what the rock was that we were holding on to. What was preventing us from letting go of the rock and just really running after God? We were asked to consider this and to also consider leaving our rocks in the fjord.
At this point, I hadn't had any really life-shattering realizations while in Norway. The summer had been good and challenging, but I didn't feel like I had gotten out of the trip what God wanted me to get yet. The leaders on my trip continued to ask us what our rock may be and I thought about it, but then one day during a quiet time, I prayed that God would reveal my rock to me and show me what was keeping me from Him. I then did a quiet time in 1 John 4:7-21, which is all about God's love. Here is the basic gist of 1 John:
Abide, Obey, Love, Abide
- Abide in God - the way to abide in God is to Obey God - God calls us to love others, so to Obey, we must Love others - When we Love others and are being obedient to God, he Abides in us as we Abide in Him
God sent his Son because of His love for usDuring this quiet time God opened my eyes to see that my rock was a fear of never being chosen, never being "good enough", never being someone's first choice. I was afraid of always being an alternate, a second choice, barely adequate. I knew that this had been something that I struggled with, but I didn't know depths of my belief in this lie. It was a lie I believed to my very core. However, 1 John and our time in the Psalms and gospels were showing me that I had already been chosen.
One of the many questions that we had been talking about through the summer was God's power, knowledge, and presence. If I believe in this fundamental truth of God, then God knew about me when he created the world. God was aware of what He was creating. He KNEW He was creating a world with Sin. He knew He was creating a world with Me. He knew He was creating a world with MY sin. He knew that He was creating a world in which I would inherit Adam's sin, but also that He was making a world where He would have to send His only Son to die so that my sin-debt would be paid. If I believe that God is all-powerful, then He could have changed all these things in His creation. He could have made a world where me and my sin were not a factor, but He didn't. He made THIS world, He made Me.
The lie I believed and my rock became shattered. There is no need for me to fear not being chosen, because I have already BEEN chosen. I have been chosen by a powerful and might God who loves me and gave himself for me. And he did for you too! We have all been chosen by a might God who loves all of us.
I found a rock, wrote the lie I had believed on it, and threw it in the fjord. It was glorious. It was a pretty large rock, so it made quite the resounding ker-plunck.
God used this truth in my life to address my prayers. My came out of the summer really starting to grasp what it meant to be His child and a woman of Faith. I'm not saying I have either of these things down, but God used the reality of his choosing me to show me his love for me and address lies that I had been believing to my core. But how was I to apply this epiphany? How would I remember to hold on to this truth that God had assured me of? I tried to think of things, but nothing really had the practical, measurable result that I wanted. Then one evening in Bergen, after our team meeting/processing time, I had an epiphany: a tattoo was the answer to my problems. I wanted to remember forever, the lesson that God had taught me. I am his child, chosen from the beginning of time. After some wonderful encouragement from beautiful teammates, and some prayer, I decided that it was OK to get a tattoo as an application and that it was what I wanted to do.
As I sit here, I have the word "chosen" on the inside of my left arm. It is written in my own hand and on my left so that every time I read my bible or write in my journal, I have that reminder that I have been chosen by God.
This is my application. It is to remind me that I have been chosen by God and don't need to worry about not being chosen. God has taken care of that already. I can't wait to use this as an opportunity to share my story with someone who asks about my tattoo and why I have that word, in that place, in that print. I have been chosen and that truth is now forever a part of me. It has been inscribed on me and has become a part of who I am. I am His.
The Struggles of an External Processor
My name is Victoria, and I am an external processor. You may laugh at that sentence, especially if you know me. I am a relatively shy and quiet individual, and it seems that I can think something through to completion, but alas, I can not. I am the girl who cannot even begin to write a paper for school until I have read the question OUT LOUD. I remember a specific instance last semester where I called my dad in tears because I didn't understand the question that my Old Testament professor was asking for an exegesis paper. In the midst of my blubbering, my dad said, "Victoria, what is the question? Can you read it out loud to me?" After I read the question, there was clarity. The skies opened and the heavens burst forth with understanding. All I had to do was read the question and hear myself say it and I was fine. I then proceeded to get an A on the paper.
Why is being an external processor so challenging? I feel that it may be the fact that I repeat myself 3+ times before I understand how I feel about something. Or, it could be the fact that if I don't talk it out, I can't really comprehend the intricacies at work. Maybe it is the fact that I am relatively shy and so people don't think that I need to say things to understand them. I know that for the purposes of processing my trip, it has been a real tribulation trying to think, "Well, what DID happen?". I am about 5 seconds away from having a coffee shop date with myself and being the crazy person at the window talking to myself for 5 hours (I am sure it would be a fascinating conversation).
I think however, that that is where the blessing of this blog comes in. I can write my thoughts, and those who are interested will read them, and I get to think things through to completion. So, thank you if you are reading this :). You are a blessing to me and I hope that in some way, my word vomit can be a blessing to you too.
Wednesday, July 31, 2013
Lessons through Loss
This summer was full of challenges. Some were expected (hikes, work projects, helping feed 17 people), but some were quite unexpected. The lessons of these challenges would be in how we answered them and dealt with them. Both as a team and as individuals.
The curveballs started right away with the unexpected loss of a member of the British team on a hike. We found out the day before leaving Bergen for Skjolden and were rocked to our core. We didn't really know what we were going into or how to react. But we did know that as Christians we were called to grieve with those who grieve and mourn with those who mourn. That was what we were supposed to do, but how does that look? What do we do when walking into a situation of loss?
We entered the week learning about gospel centered living knowing that these lessons were more prevalent now than ever. If the gospel wasn't essential in loss, then when was it? God gave us the gospel for times such as these. He sent his son to die for us so that we may be with him for eternity.
The week became harder when one of our team members lost a friend and we were further confronted with loss. The events of the week forced us to ask tough questions that we may have otherwise swept under the rug. We discussed God's goodness in light of bad situations and how we can trust in his plan when things seem so out of control.
All of these lessons were tested half-way into the summer when one of our team mates lost her mother. I was forced to confront the mortality of my friends and family as well as myself. Life is fragile and precious and a gift, but we were seeing the precious gift of life ending all around us. I cried out to God, wondering how something good could come from all of our loss and pleading for God to do just that. I wanted for their to be a purpose for the suffering that my team was enduring. My heart was breaking for my team, and the loss was forcing me to confront fears of losing people in my own life. I clung to Jeremiah 29:11 and that God had a plan for these events and that they were for our prosperity.
Looking back, the losses of the summer made the lessons that much sweeter. In the movie Shadowlands, Anthony Hopkins's character, C.S. Lewis, says that the happiness now is a part of the pain then and also that the reverse is true. This was so prevalent throughout the summer. The pain and loss that we were experiencing was making the lessons of God's love and sacrifice that much sweeter. I sought more on God's character and who He is in order to confront the questions of His goodness.
Trusting God in the easy parts of life is, well, easy. It's when life gets challenging that it gets difficult to trust in God's goodness and his plan. The losses this summer taught me to value the relationships that I have and have them be genuine, not surface level, but to care for people and their souls too. Life is fragile and part of caring for people is caring for them physically, but also spiritually. It is so easy to take advantage of our life now, but it could change in an instant. Loss is a reality and a person's character is really shown through how they handle loss.
As tough as the lessons of the loss were, we had some really sweet times as a result of them. Experiencing the loss together bonded us as a team. It also gave us ties to connect with the community. We were also completely surrounded in prayer. People from all over the world were praying for us and our team. We had prayers from friends, but also from complete strangers as well. I know that God had a plan for our experiences and he probably isn't done with teaching me through the tragedies of the summer. God answered my prayers and taught me and had a purpose for these events and his purpose continues past the limits of Skjolden, Norway.
What I learned through the loss:
The curveballs started right away with the unexpected loss of a member of the British team on a hike. We found out the day before leaving Bergen for Skjolden and were rocked to our core. We didn't really know what we were going into or how to react. But we did know that as Christians we were called to grieve with those who grieve and mourn with those who mourn. That was what we were supposed to do, but how does that look? What do we do when walking into a situation of loss?
We entered the week learning about gospel centered living knowing that these lessons were more prevalent now than ever. If the gospel wasn't essential in loss, then when was it? God gave us the gospel for times such as these. He sent his son to die for us so that we may be with him for eternity.
The week became harder when one of our team members lost a friend and we were further confronted with loss. The events of the week forced us to ask tough questions that we may have otherwise swept under the rug. We discussed God's goodness in light of bad situations and how we can trust in his plan when things seem so out of control.
All of these lessons were tested half-way into the summer when one of our team mates lost her mother. I was forced to confront the mortality of my friends and family as well as myself. Life is fragile and precious and a gift, but we were seeing the precious gift of life ending all around us. I cried out to God, wondering how something good could come from all of our loss and pleading for God to do just that. I wanted for their to be a purpose for the suffering that my team was enduring. My heart was breaking for my team, and the loss was forcing me to confront fears of losing people in my own life. I clung to Jeremiah 29:11 and that God had a plan for these events and that they were for our prosperity.
Looking back, the losses of the summer made the lessons that much sweeter. In the movie Shadowlands, Anthony Hopkins's character, C.S. Lewis, says that the happiness now is a part of the pain then and also that the reverse is true. This was so prevalent throughout the summer. The pain and loss that we were experiencing was making the lessons of God's love and sacrifice that much sweeter. I sought more on God's character and who He is in order to confront the questions of His goodness.
Trusting God in the easy parts of life is, well, easy. It's when life gets challenging that it gets difficult to trust in God's goodness and his plan. The losses this summer taught me to value the relationships that I have and have them be genuine, not surface level, but to care for people and their souls too. Life is fragile and part of caring for people is caring for them physically, but also spiritually. It is so easy to take advantage of our life now, but it could change in an instant. Loss is a reality and a person's character is really shown through how they handle loss.
As tough as the lessons of the loss were, we had some really sweet times as a result of them. Experiencing the loss together bonded us as a team. It also gave us ties to connect with the community. We were also completely surrounded in prayer. People from all over the world were praying for us and our team. We had prayers from friends, but also from complete strangers as well. I know that God had a plan for our experiences and he probably isn't done with teaching me through the tragedies of the summer. God answered my prayers and taught me and had a purpose for these events and his purpose continues past the limits of Skjolden, Norway.
What I learned through the loss:
- Pray for the people in my life now, there may not be a later
- Trust in God's plan - he has one, even if I don't
- Know that God is good, even if bad things happen
- Invest in the people around you, they may not be there forever
- Life is a precious gift and is fragile, but we must live it for His glory
- If the gospel is not essential in times of grief, when is it?
- grieving is hard and it is done differently in different cultures, but relying on God in our grief is universal and letting God use our grief is essential
Monday, June 17, 2013
Good Gifts and God's Provision
Oh my goodness, what a week. Sorry it has been such a while after my last post... there have been quite a few lessons hurled at me over the past few days.
This season of fundraising has been an exceptionally challenging one. My funding for my trip has been slow moving and rather sloth-like. It took me three months to reach even 50% of my funding. I have been stressed, stretched, challenged, and overwhelmed all in the last few months, but God has done some great things.
Last week, I was utterly distraught. I needed $4500 in my funding account in order to go on my trip. I only had about $2000 in my account at the time. That was over $2000 that I needed God to provide for me in just about one week, if I was going to be fully funding. I started grappling with doubt and struggling with if this trip to Norway was really what God wanted for me in my life right now. I was doubting and not giving God a chance to reassure me. I was in the middle of a spiritual dry-spell, without getting time in the Word, or even consistently praying. All I saw was dollar signs and my deficiency.
Then last, Tuesday (I believe), I had a minor break-down. I was crushed by the overwhelming amount that I still needed. It was still about $2000, nothing much had changed. I was having an evening of desperation (and a few tears). Then, I decided that I needed to get some time in the Word. The Lord had been placing Matthew 7 on my heart for the last few weeks, I had just been ignoring the nudging of the Spirit. I opened my bible to Matthew 7, the passage on God being the Father who gives good gifts. I googled the passage, to see if there were any good cross references and I happened across a paper someone wrote on Matthew 7 and Luke 11 (the corresponding passage). Both spoke of God as a father who gives good gifts, but it went further than that. The metaphor used the images of a child asking for food and things that would sustain him and the father giving him these things. I was reminded of Psalm 84 and how God will withhold no good thing.
The paper I had found caused me to beg the question: What are good things and good gifts? How do we know that the things that we want are "good"?
The "good things" that these passages talk about aren't just money, food, happiness, or love, they are things that are essentially and inherently good. God is good. These "good things" come as a result of us seeking God's heart and God's desires for us. When we seek God's heart, we want the good things that we find: his love of his people, his desire for the nations to know him, his love for his Son, and his love for the church. These are the things that God wants to give us and have us partake in with him, all of the gifts that he bestows on use come as a direct result of us seeking and desiring these gifts.
After this time in the Word, I continued to process and journal a bit and I realized that if I was going to rely on God to work through my funding, I needed to give it up to him and provide him with the space to work. I started praying that God would give me $3500 by the end of the weekend and then provide the rest of the $4500 before I left. I needed to fast from my navcentral account in order to place my faith in God and not the numbers I was seeing. I also realized I had a responsibility to do my part, make calls, write more letters, get meetings with people, and update those that I knew were praying for me. I immediately started making and scheduling calls with my prayer team and I received so much encouragement and assurance from those women that I knew that I was/am exactly where God wanted me to be, funding. Whether I went to Norway or not, God had me in a season of Fundrasing and Preparation. I called people, e-mailed, and Facebooked, and people were so thankful that I reminded them that I still had a need for funding. I called my pastor and shared my need with him and he proposed the idea of praying for me in front of the church on Sunday and asking people to consider giving to my trip to Norway.
On Sunday, I left church with $430 in my pocket, and even more people taking donation cards so that they could contribute online. People came up to me and said they were so excited for me and that I was doing a really wonderful thing by working to further God's kingdom. I celebrated Fathers' Day with my family and then went home to check my account and call my team leaders about my funding. I checked my account and I did the math. With the number in my account plus the money I received that day in church and a few donations a knew were coming in, I would have $3353. God answered my prayer and met the need, and that was with only the donations that I KNEW about. There were other people who had donated/were going to donate that I didn't even know how much they were giving, so God provided more than I asked for. I think I even had someone offer to write a check for the difference of my trip if I didn't get fully funded (I'm a little muddled on this point because I was overwhelmed with thankfulness for the Lord's provision and pretty much in tears, but I am going to make sure to clarify this point in the next few days).
So here I am, a woman who has had so many prayers answered. I still have prayers to get fully funded, but I know that God has the power and the strength to meet my needs. I am so excited to see what God does in my life over the next 5 weeks, when I am actually in Norway. If you would like to donate to my trip, the site is www.navigators.org and you click the "Donor" tab and type my name (Victoria Morrow) and can give electronically. I can't wait to see what God does with the rest of my funding (I still need about $1100) and my trip. I can't wait to go and live the great commission in the small town of Skjolden, Norway.
Prayer Requests:
This season of fundraising has been an exceptionally challenging one. My funding for my trip has been slow moving and rather sloth-like. It took me three months to reach even 50% of my funding. I have been stressed, stretched, challenged, and overwhelmed all in the last few months, but God has done some great things.
Last week, I was utterly distraught. I needed $4500 in my funding account in order to go on my trip. I only had about $2000 in my account at the time. That was over $2000 that I needed God to provide for me in just about one week, if I was going to be fully funding. I started grappling with doubt and struggling with if this trip to Norway was really what God wanted for me in my life right now. I was doubting and not giving God a chance to reassure me. I was in the middle of a spiritual dry-spell, without getting time in the Word, or even consistently praying. All I saw was dollar signs and my deficiency.
Then last, Tuesday (I believe), I had a minor break-down. I was crushed by the overwhelming amount that I still needed. It was still about $2000, nothing much had changed. I was having an evening of desperation (and a few tears). Then, I decided that I needed to get some time in the Word. The Lord had been placing Matthew 7 on my heart for the last few weeks, I had just been ignoring the nudging of the Spirit. I opened my bible to Matthew 7, the passage on God being the Father who gives good gifts. I googled the passage, to see if there were any good cross references and I happened across a paper someone wrote on Matthew 7 and Luke 11 (the corresponding passage). Both spoke of God as a father who gives good gifts, but it went further than that. The metaphor used the images of a child asking for food and things that would sustain him and the father giving him these things. I was reminded of Psalm 84 and how God will withhold no good thing.
The paper I had found caused me to beg the question: What are good things and good gifts? How do we know that the things that we want are "good"?
The "good things" that these passages talk about aren't just money, food, happiness, or love, they are things that are essentially and inherently good. God is good. These "good things" come as a result of us seeking God's heart and God's desires for us. When we seek God's heart, we want the good things that we find: his love of his people, his desire for the nations to know him, his love for his Son, and his love for the church. These are the things that God wants to give us and have us partake in with him, all of the gifts that he bestows on use come as a direct result of us seeking and desiring these gifts.
After this time in the Word, I continued to process and journal a bit and I realized that if I was going to rely on God to work through my funding, I needed to give it up to him and provide him with the space to work. I started praying that God would give me $3500 by the end of the weekend and then provide the rest of the $4500 before I left. I needed to fast from my navcentral account in order to place my faith in God and not the numbers I was seeing. I also realized I had a responsibility to do my part, make calls, write more letters, get meetings with people, and update those that I knew were praying for me. I immediately started making and scheduling calls with my prayer team and I received so much encouragement and assurance from those women that I knew that I was/am exactly where God wanted me to be, funding. Whether I went to Norway or not, God had me in a season of Fundrasing and Preparation. I called people, e-mailed, and Facebooked, and people were so thankful that I reminded them that I still had a need for funding. I called my pastor and shared my need with him and he proposed the idea of praying for me in front of the church on Sunday and asking people to consider giving to my trip to Norway.
On Sunday, I left church with $430 in my pocket, and even more people taking donation cards so that they could contribute online. People came up to me and said they were so excited for me and that I was doing a really wonderful thing by working to further God's kingdom. I celebrated Fathers' Day with my family and then went home to check my account and call my team leaders about my funding. I checked my account and I did the math. With the number in my account plus the money I received that day in church and a few donations a knew were coming in, I would have $3353. God answered my prayer and met the need, and that was with only the donations that I KNEW about. There were other people who had donated/were going to donate that I didn't even know how much they were giving, so God provided more than I asked for. I think I even had someone offer to write a check for the difference of my trip if I didn't get fully funded (I'm a little muddled on this point because I was overwhelmed with thankfulness for the Lord's provision and pretty much in tears, but I am going to make sure to clarify this point in the next few days).
So here I am, a woman who has had so many prayers answered. I still have prayers to get fully funded, but I know that God has the power and the strength to meet my needs. I am so excited to see what God does in my life over the next 5 weeks, when I am actually in Norway. If you would like to donate to my trip, the site is www.navigators.org and you click the "Donor" tab and type my name (Victoria Morrow) and can give electronically. I can't wait to see what God does with the rest of my funding (I still need about $1100) and my trip. I can't wait to go and live the great commission in the small town of Skjolden, Norway.
Prayer Requests:
- safety (I am perhaps the most accident-prone individual on earth)
- My team - that we would live in unity and provide an example of Christian community, loving God, and each other well.
- The people that we will meet this summer: that God would be using us in the lives of those in Skjolden and use them in our lives as well. That we would be able to shine the light of Christ into the lives of those we meet this summer.
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Strength Training
Well, it has been over a month since I posted anything and it has been quite a month. I spent 5 days going to clinics getting 5 different diagnoses, 5 days admitted in the hospital with viral meningitis, a lumbar puncture to test for said meningitis, 2 weeks on bed rest, missed 3 weeks of school (and finals), came home, did a concert for funding, went back to Tally for a week, took my finals, came back home, still have school work to get done, and (the final straw) sprained my ankle (again). It sure has been a doozie. Not to mention, the continued funding, spending time with the family, and all the other stuff that needs to be done before I leave (call the bank to make sure the don't freeze my account, continue funding, you get the picture). Life has been hectic.
Needless to say, all the goings on of my life have had me in a frenzy. Seriously, I feel as if the Flight of the Bumblebee should be playing in the background of my life. I also have been struggling to get time in the Word or even to pray the past few weeks. Mostly, it is because I have been too distracted to make time. I have been so busy and trying to rely on my own strength to make it that I wasn't letting God's strength help me. That is a no-no. I can't do it on my own. I know this, I just don't KNOW this very often. This refusal (because that is basically what it was) to rely on God instead of myself pretty much lead to a stress-induced melt down.
So, the story:
What triggered the stress was I realized that I need to basically fund-raise about $2000 in 20 days. Also, I have expenses to pay, but no source of income (I had to take the summer off because of my trip/meningitis). This all compounded into one ball of stress/anxiety and I wasn't letting it go. I was doing what I do. I was planning out how to make it work, but the problem was was that there was no way that I could make it work. I couldn't take care of everything, and there was a lot of stuff that was out of my control. There was nothing I could do to guarantee that everything was going to be ok. I was helpless, and that scared me.
After a difficult day, some processing, and some prayer, I realized the problem: I wasn't relying on God's strength, I was trying to do it myself. This is pretty laughable due to the fact that my strength is pretty feeble (especially after the meningitis mishap and bed rest). Also, I internalize stress and avoid it, so I wasn't processing ANYTHING (I'm an external processor). I was causing myself to fall into stress and anxiety because I wasn't a) sharing it with God, or b) letting the people in my life help me either.
Sometimes you fall and you can get back up, but other times when you fall, you have to let God help you get back up. Human strength does no good, God's strength is what really works. The problem is, you have to be willing and let His strength help you. I love reading verses about the Lord's strength and his helping. Philippians 4:13 is great (I can do all things through him who strengthens me), but I especially love Isaiah 41:10:
Even though I may need $2000, and I still have work for school, and no job, and other worries, it's ok. God has a plan, and He has the strength to see it through. I need to do my part by being faithful and trusting in Him and trying my best to follow His plan. I need to rely on His strength, and not my own, and I need to be willing to wait on Him. I had a friend who went to Japan for 7 weeks this summer, and she literally raised about $1000 in one day, on the day her funding was due. God can do amazing things, and He wants to do amazing things with me and my story. I just need to let Him.
So after this was all realized, processed, and the lesson learned, I then remembered about my blog. My resolve was to share my journey with those who I was asking to join with me in my ministry this summer. So now I am back to blogging about the lessons God has been teaching me. Strength seems to be a biggie. I know that Norway is where I am supposed to be, so I know that God will find a way to get me there. I just have to have the faith that He will.
Needless to say, all the goings on of my life have had me in a frenzy. Seriously, I feel as if the Flight of the Bumblebee should be playing in the background of my life. I also have been struggling to get time in the Word or even to pray the past few weeks. Mostly, it is because I have been too distracted to make time. I have been so busy and trying to rely on my own strength to make it that I wasn't letting God's strength help me. That is a no-no. I can't do it on my own. I know this, I just don't KNOW this very often. This refusal (because that is basically what it was) to rely on God instead of myself pretty much lead to a stress-induced melt down.
So, the story:
What triggered the stress was I realized that I need to basically fund-raise about $2000 in 20 days. Also, I have expenses to pay, but no source of income (I had to take the summer off because of my trip/meningitis). This all compounded into one ball of stress/anxiety and I wasn't letting it go. I was doing what I do. I was planning out how to make it work, but the problem was was that there was no way that I could make it work. I couldn't take care of everything, and there was a lot of stuff that was out of my control. There was nothing I could do to guarantee that everything was going to be ok. I was helpless, and that scared me.
After a difficult day, some processing, and some prayer, I realized the problem: I wasn't relying on God's strength, I was trying to do it myself. This is pretty laughable due to the fact that my strength is pretty feeble (especially after the meningitis mishap and bed rest). Also, I internalize stress and avoid it, so I wasn't processing ANYTHING (I'm an external processor). I was causing myself to fall into stress and anxiety because I wasn't a) sharing it with God, or b) letting the people in my life help me either.
Sometimes you fall and you can get back up, but other times when you fall, you have to let God help you get back up. Human strength does no good, God's strength is what really works. The problem is, you have to be willing and let His strength help you. I love reading verses about the Lord's strength and his helping. Philippians 4:13 is great (I can do all things through him who strengthens me), but I especially love Isaiah 41:10:
"fear not, for I am with you;This one speaks directly to me. I am a fearful person, it says don't fear. I often get VERY dismayed, but God is my God, I don't need to worry. I will be strengthened, helped, and held in the righteous right hand of the Almighty God.
be not dismayed, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you, I will help you,
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
Even though I may need $2000, and I still have work for school, and no job, and other worries, it's ok. God has a plan, and He has the strength to see it through. I need to do my part by being faithful and trusting in Him and trying my best to follow His plan. I need to rely on His strength, and not my own, and I need to be willing to wait on Him. I had a friend who went to Japan for 7 weeks this summer, and she literally raised about $1000 in one day, on the day her funding was due. God can do amazing things, and He wants to do amazing things with me and my story. I just need to let Him.
So after this was all realized, processed, and the lesson learned, I then remembered about my blog. My resolve was to share my journey with those who I was asking to join with me in my ministry this summer. So now I am back to blogging about the lessons God has been teaching me. Strength seems to be a biggie. I know that Norway is where I am supposed to be, so I know that God will find a way to get me there. I just have to have the faith that He will.
Sunday, April 14, 2013
A Broken Phone, A Need for Patience
There seems to be a theme occurring again and again in my life: patience. Patience with my roommates, patience with my family, patience with my co-workers. In fact, as I write this, I have to be patient with myself because I scalded my hand at work and have quite the lobster claw that is quite sore. It's everywhere, and this week, I realized, I'm not a very patient person.
So, to backtrack a little. I was walking to work the other week and I dropped my phone on a concrete sidewalk. It didn't crack or anything, but the screen stopped functioning in the proper way. It is a touchscreen phone, so the screen is kinda everything. This made communication to ANYONE challenging to the nth degree. Not only could I not text, but I kept calling people that I didn't mean to (I think I called my friend's mom 3 times in a one hour period), it texted people absolutely nonsensical words and sentences (apparently my phone is a Jedi and Igaulan is a word), and I couldn't access any of my apps (sad, I know). This meant that anything that usually took 1 minute of my life now took minimum of 5. After throwing my phone on the carpet several times in frustration, I came to the sudden epiphany that I wasn't being patient with my phone.
My first thought was: my phone is an inanimate object, it didn't have feelings, so it didn't matter if I was patient with it or not. My phone was broken. I knew that, I just didn't seem to care about the problems of my phone. I just wanted it to work when I needed it to work. I then realized, if I wasn't being patient that was a direct result of my failure, then what would I be patient with? I am most certainly not the most patient roommate, or sister, or friend, or student, or daughter.
What about this summer? I will be trying to share the love of Christ with people who live in a post-Modern culture. What good will I be if I am not being patient with them? How will I be an effective witness if I don't learn to be patient with myself and wait on the Lord and His timing? 1 Thessalonians 5: 14 says:
So, to backtrack a little. I was walking to work the other week and I dropped my phone on a concrete sidewalk. It didn't crack or anything, but the screen stopped functioning in the proper way. It is a touchscreen phone, so the screen is kinda everything. This made communication to ANYONE challenging to the nth degree. Not only could I not text, but I kept calling people that I didn't mean to (I think I called my friend's mom 3 times in a one hour period), it texted people absolutely nonsensical words and sentences (apparently my phone is a Jedi and Igaulan is a word), and I couldn't access any of my apps (sad, I know). This meant that anything that usually took 1 minute of my life now took minimum of 5. After throwing my phone on the carpet several times in frustration, I came to the sudden epiphany that I wasn't being patient with my phone.
My first thought was: my phone is an inanimate object, it didn't have feelings, so it didn't matter if I was patient with it or not. My phone was broken. I knew that, I just didn't seem to care about the problems of my phone. I just wanted it to work when I needed it to work. I then realized, if I wasn't being patient that was a direct result of my failure, then what would I be patient with? I am most certainly not the most patient roommate, or sister, or friend, or student, or daughter.
What about this summer? I will be trying to share the love of Christ with people who live in a post-Modern culture. What good will I be if I am not being patient with them? How will I be an effective witness if I don't learn to be patient with myself and wait on the Lord and His timing? 1 Thessalonians 5: 14 says:
And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all.So that is that. I need to be more patient. I am called to be patient with the idle (oy vay), the fainthearted, and the week. I am supposed to encourage them, challenge them, admonish them, and help them. But most of all, I am to be patient with them all. It is definitely a journey (much like the rest of my life currently), but I am ready for it. I have been praying for God to work in my life before I even leave for Norway, and He has been faithful (as only He can be).
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